Last time you learned how to recognize the people in your life who can ruin your motivation and productivity, including naysayers and energy vampires. You also learned you should reduce the time you spend with these people (if not cut them out of your life entirely).
Here’s why: Because continuing to spend time with these people — especially once you’ve recognized them as energy vampires or naysayers — is a form of self sabotage. And self sabotage is nothing more than your fears talking.
Think about it…
Imagine if you’ve decided to launch a business and you choose an energy vampire as a business partner. Someplace deep down you KNOW the business will fail, because the energy vampire will create so much chaos and drama around the launch. Thus it’s your fear that has you choosing this person. And when the business inevitably fails, you can tell yourself that it’s not your fault, it’s your business partner’s fault. That’s not true of course, but it makes you feel better to say it.
While that’s one of the more powerful forms of self-sabotage (since it’s so deliberate), there are other forms that can be just as destructive to your dreams. And one of the most common ways to flatten your own motivation and productivity is by listening to your own negative thoughts.
First things first: If you’re not already a success, then I’m virtually certain that you have your own negative voice replaying harmful things in your head. This is the voice that crushes your motivation and even your ideas. It’s the voice that gets you second guessing yourself. It’s the voice of fear, and it says things like this:
- That sounds too hard.
- I’m not smart enough to do this.
- I really don’t need that much money.
- It’s silly for me to want this.
- What are the neighbors going to say?
- This is going to take too long.
- I don’t have enough time… money… (etc) to do this.
If you’re lucky, you’re already aware of your own negative voices. If not, you’re going to need to do another brain dump exercise to uncover these doubting voices. One way to do that is to answer the following questions as quickly as possible, writing down every answer that comes to mind:
- I can’t make my dream come true because______.
- Rich people are ________________.
- Successful people are __________________.
- Once I’m successful my friends will say ________________.
- When I’m rich and successful my family will say_________.
- I’m afraid of success because ________________.
- I can’t [do specific thing related to your dream] because _________.
You may want to take five minutes with each of the above “fill in the blank” questions and simply write whatever pops into your head for five minutes.
Once you’ve completed this exercise, you’ll have a good idea of how your own negative thoughts are holding you back. Your next step is to turn these negative thoughts into positive affirmations.
For example, if one of your answers to the above is this: “Rich people are greedy and self-absorbed,” then you need to turn it into a positive. Example: “Rich people give generously of their time and money to help others.”
You should hang these affirmations up some place where you’ll see them every day. Then spend a few minutes meditating on them daily. You may need to do this for many months, because a lifetime of negative programming can’t be undone in a couple days.
That’s it for this time. Next time you’ll learn how to choose goals and rewards that keep you fired up about your goals!