Last time we talked about finding inspirational stories as well as like-minded people to motivate you. This time you’re going to learn about the type of people you want to avoid. Namely, the naysayers, energy vampires and other people who doubt you, steal your time and suck your energy. Let’s get to it…
The naysayers aren’t hard to spot. These are the people who tell you your dreams are too big and that you’re sure to fail. They say things like:
- Why don’t you get a real job?
- Writing/online business/[your dream] will never put food on the table.
- You should go back to school.
- You need to take care of your family.
- I just don’t see how that will work.
- You’re too old / you’re too young / you don’t have enough money / you don’t have enough time / [other excuse].
Sometimes the disapproval isn’t so obvious. Sometimes these people will outwardly support your dreams by saying things like “go for it!” and “you can do it!” But then you get a contradictory message from them at a later point, where they let you know in an indirect way that they don’t think too highly of rich and successful people. They’ll say things like:
- Jose always shows off with his new car.
- Mary really thinks she’s something now that she has a book published.
- Rich people are greedy.
- Look at those corporate fat cats, always stepping on the little guy.
- I wonder what he did to get that money? (With the implication that the person stole it, lied to get it, etc.)
If you have these sorts of people in your life, don’t tell them about your dreams. Keep the topic of conversation on other things, such as the news, local events, family news, etc. But don’t even give them the chance to step on your dreams.
Recognizing Energy Vampires
These are the drama queens (and kings). It seems like these people always have a crisis going on. If you tell them you need to work for two uninterrupted hours today, they’ll burst into your house in tears because suddenly they’re sure one of their moles is cancerous. If you tell them your project is almost ready to go, suddenly they’ll need an immense amount of your energy for something, usually to deal with some crisis.
Don’t think for a moment that these people are unlucky with all the bad things that happen to them. It’s not luck. These people actually create the drama in their lives and then thrive on it. They like the chaos. They like making everyone else around them “jump” at their command. And they like sucking on other people’s time and energy.
Again, most of these energy vampires are easy to spot, just because they always have so much drama going on in their lives. If you have friends who just make you tired to be around them, and/or if they always seem to have a problem or crisis, then you probably have an energy vampire in your list.
Your best bet is to cut these people completely out of your life. If that’s not possible, then you’ll need to draw strict boundaries and reduce the time you spend with them. It may be difficult (especially if these are your friends), but the payoff is increased motivation, productivity and the opportunity to focus on yourself for once.
That’s it for this time. Next time you’ll find out if you’re sabotaging your own success!